Storms

This is one of my favorite Rembrandts. It's his depiction of the storm on the Sea of Galilee, recorded in Matthew 8:23-27.

That's Jesus there in the back of the boat, lying down, just awakened by the panicked disciples.

Notice the two approaches to dealing with storms that Rembrandt captures in this painting. There are the disciples up at the bow of the boat, furiously trying to set the sails and right the vessel. And then there are the ones back at the stern. I think they realize just how hopeless their efforts will be against the storm - how absolutly futile it is to pull at those lines when you're up against the wind and the waves.

And they're almost certainly more afraid than they ought to be, what with the Son of God in their craft. But there they are, on their knees, looking to Him for help.

Where are you in this painting? Up at the bow, pulling and striving while the waves crash around you, threatening to sink your little boat? Or there with your Lord, crying out in whatever weak and broken way that you can that He alone is your rock, your refuge.

And now for something completely different...

Just to lighten the mood a bit.

I was rummaging through my college poetry vaults, and came across this little gem. This has actually been published by an acclaimed literary journal... from Cabrillo College. Six popsicles go to the first one to catch the literary allusion.

Fairsized


The Cow

Once upon a mid morn sunny,
As I pondered over money
All alone my soul felt funny
For my friends went to the store.

I was left all by my lonesome
Hearing far off cattle groan some
Shaken by some sad unknownsome
I began to worry sore.

First of all, a cow was mooing
Then I felt some trouble brewing
For I saw that bovine chewing
Stately ravens, birds of yore.

Not the least obeisance made he
Not a minute stopped or stayed he
But with air of Marsha Brady
Sat upon my chamber door.

How he got there, ne’er he told me
Yet with harsh words he did scold me
Then his actions did enfold me
For my mind he did explore.

“Prophet”, said I, “Thing of evil!
“Leave me now you bovine devil”
So he left me, off to revel,
And I saw him, nevermore.

Beware of Democrats Wielding Alliteration

Thus far, the "Wierd News" category has been populated by some really great, fictional news metaphors that have illustrated some important facets of the life of the soul.

I'm going to deviate from that trend, though, with the following non-fiction story - because it's really, well, incredible. Not incredible like "great" or "fantastic" - incredible like in-credible. Un-believable. Oh no he didn't. This one can't be called anything but Wierd News.

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Nebraska State Senator Sues God Over Natural Disasters

Monday, September 17, 2007
Fox News

Nebraska Democratic State Senator Ernie Chambers has decided to go straight to the top in an effort to stop natural disasters from befalling the world. Chambers filed a lawsuit against God in Douglas County Court Friday afternoon, KPTM Fox 42 reported.

The suit asks for a "permanent injunction ordering Defendant to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats." The lawsuit identifies the plaintiff as, "the duly elected and serving State Senator from the 11th Legislative District in Omaha, Nebraska."

Chambers also cites that the, "defendant directly and proximately has caused, inter alia, fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornados, pestilential plagues..."

Chambers says he isn't suing God because he has any kind of beef with the deity. He says the suit is to fight possible laws restricting the filing of frivolous lawsuits. Chambers tells KPTM FOX 42 News that his lawsuit is in response to bills brought forth by other state senators to try and stop lawsuits from being filed.

"The Constitution requires that the courthouse doors be open, so you cannot prohibit the filing of suits," Chambers says. "Anyone can sue anyone they choose, even God."

Chambers bases his ability to sue God, as, "that defendant, being omnipresent, is personally present in Douglas County."

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I think this proves at least two things. First, Democrats aren't really the intellectuals they've worked so hard to make us believe they are. Of course, Al Gore already has "Exhibit A" status there. Case in point here, though, (aside, even, from the clearly ludicrous nature of the claim itself)- Senator Chambers' stated purpose for filing this "suit" was, "To fight possible laws restricting the filing of frivolous lawsuits." Yeah, bravo. The opponants of frivolous lawsuits are all gonna pack up and go home.

Second, when you see someone making their case through excessive and deliberate alliteration, their theology is surely in the pooper.

Freak Windstorm in Central Valley

A homeowner near Patterson, CA experienced a freak of nature last night, and it seemed personal. Grover Adamson was doing a little house cleaning yesterday afternoon, placing everything on the front lawn. Being a calm evening, he decided to leave it there overnight, with the plan of going through it the next morning. During the night, a freak windstorm came and blew away the entire lot of goods he had out there. Every last scrap was gone, and still has not been found. No other houses on the block appear disturbed or even touched.

"I just couldn't believe it," said Mr. Adamson. "It was like an act of God had descended upon my front porch."

Whether really a sign from above or not, meteorologists are still trying to figure out how it started, where it went, and if it will come again.

"I was simply going through everything I owned," Mr. Adamson explained. "You know, the kind of deep cleaning that takes you under couches and in the cushions, in the corners of closets, the drawer in the kitchen nobody likes. I held nothing back. I put it all on the front lawn. And next morning it was completely gone. We know nobody stole it, because there were no tracks. It seems like a big vacuum cleaner came and just sucked it all up. Actually its sort of liberating, not having to deal with all that garbage."