There are many things that are wrong with our modern culture. Obviously this is a direct result of the godless lifestyle that our culture (and even much of the church, embarrassingly) has assumed is normal. If modern science is the "god" we say it is, and we really are just a bunch of protoplasm swimming around in epidermal sacks, then the amoral quality of our culture makes perfect sense. But this is simply not the case. We are creatures. That means we have been created. That means there is a Creator. That means the Creator had personal interaction with our coming into being. Not only did He personally oversee our entering creation, He personally sustains our every living moment. Were He to stop speaking us into existence, we would cease to be. We are completely dependent on our Creator for our every next breath. This also means we are bound by the nature and specifically moral quality of our Creator. But that is a separate discussion, though necessary to understand to see where we are going with this present discussion. If we do not take the absolute of God for granted, any number of questions will arise. But Scripture demands the absolute reality and absolute nature of our God, and so we can do no less, regardless of how many bumper stickers tell us otherwise.
This essay's main beef with modern culture is the complete misunderstanding of, and utter disregard for the nature and necessity of mystery between a man and a woman, specifically as it pertains to romantic, intimate relationships, and premarital relationships to be even more specific. Since the fall, man and woman have hid themselves from each other, recognizing, among other things, the shame that is associated with publicly exposing oneself. Hence the tradition of wearing clothes, beginning in the garden, has continued to the present day. This "tradition" of ours is the main contributor to the mystery that fills the spaces between a man and a woman. Co-contributors would be the difference in our hormonal/chemical make-up (fancy words referring simply to the way God made us), and the differences in our thought processes. This mystery that is plain to see, but difficult to understand, is the basis for every single romantic thought, action, development, desire, etc. Without our natural differences, bodily, mentally, spiritually, there would be no "not knowing" and no excitement over "finding out." This mystery is something that our God Himself created, and knowingly bestowed upon us. It is part of how we are made. Therefore we can infer that it is something good, and in essence a gift. It thus demands our attention and our respect.
The modern approach to this mystery stems from the very scientific outlook that gave rise to the descriptor, "modern." This approach says that if there is something going on that we do not understand, or cannot quantify in any objective way, than there is nothing going on. Nothing happens beyond what is explainable by chemistry and biology. Therefore, this mystery, which is necessary for the proper function of relationships, is completely explained away. This opens the door to sexual promiscuity (or sexual experimentation, fulfillment, activity – whatever candy-coated word we want to use instead). If this mystery, that is so obviously experienced, is not regarded as something special, then sex is nothing special either. Sexual tension is the basis of this mystery, and therefore part of the good gift. But when it is treated simply as a biological function, everything except the biological functions is missed.
The modern relationship despises this mystery, this sexual tension, and does away with it by the third date (if we are being generous). Men want the sensations of sex; women want the comfort of being needed and loved. But in this context, they are simply setting themselves up for pain and misery, no matter how far down they hide it. The mystery has a purpose, and here we begin to see the Hand of God. Mystery has the power to attract two people together; it also has the power to bond two people together. Before sexual union, mystery, the sense of unknown, creates a tension which prohibits a man and a woman from keeping their eyes off of one another. Until the tension is broken, the couple cannot be separated. They are constantly together, holding hands, going out on dates, etc. This is all good and holy, given the respect for God’s purposes, and His ways. And properly understood, this mystery drives a couple to marriage, a consecrated, public declaration of life-long commitment and fidelity. In the context of marriage, as the sexual tension is released, and the mystery, as originally perceived, begins to fade to comfort, God uses those differences to unite and bind, in a very unique and special way. In this context, mystery grows into something different, where, as the “not knowing” decreases, the hunger increases. In fact, it is the healthy participation in the rites of marriage that solidifies the bond, and strengthens the union that the couple has committed themselves to. This is only possible, however, in the context of life-long commitment and fidelity, consecrated in the sight of God.
Apart from marriage, when the “not knowing” decreases, the hunger also decreases, and the two lose interest in one another. This is the state of modern relationships. Here is where the disregard of the nature of this mystery has had devastating affects. Men need sexual release, and, not understanding the fruit of self-control, find it in women who are seeking protection, and a sense of being needed. The relationship will only last as long as the participants continue to keep up the appearance of interesting and novel. Thus women are forced to reinvent themselves, or at the very minimum keep up with the hottest, most provocative styles needed to “catch a boy” and keep him interested solely in her. Otherwise, feelings of despair and loneliness would rush in all too quickly. But as soon as she loses her mystery, and the tension that kept him looking at her dissipates, her chances of losing her catch increase rapidly, leading her to despair and loneliness anyway. It is a vicious cycle, destroying lives, and hardening the softest, and tenderest of hearts.
Here is the wisdom of God. Mystery is only healthy when it is tempered by the restraints of God’s law. When it is sinfully explored, it leads to pain and misery. These hard emotions cannot be explained away by science. Lab coats have no regard for the whole man, for the soul and heart of man. But God, who personally sustains us, has structured us in such a way that if we disobey Him, we will be doing things that are detrimental to our make-up. He knows how we tick, for He made us tick in the first place. It is similar to a watchmaker, building a watch, and then, giving it life, tells it to “Go and tick. Be a watch, and keep the hours, as you were made to do.” But the watch, despising the watchmaker, decides to swim in honey, deciding for itself, that honey would be much more pleasant than seconds, and minutes and hours, and days. But it finds that as it frolics in the honey jar, its parts start to freeze up, and the watch no longer works as it should. Had it listened to the wisdom of the one who made it, the watch would have lived a fulfilled and meaningful existence. But as it stands, the watch will simply cease to function, and have any ultimate meaning, or fulfilling experience. It must first be cleansed by the watchmaker, and re-wound, before meaning and purpose can be realized.
Paul tells us that marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. So how does this idea of mystery play itself out in the meta-narrative? All men are created without excuse for they are witness to creation, and therefore are witness to the works of the Creator. All men are also created with a sense that there is a God, and He has spoken. This is suppressed in the hearts and minds of unbelievers, but is there nonetheless. This is obvious by a universal need for organized religion. Even anti-religious folks and atheistic pagans are religiously devoted to their beliefs. It is unavoidable. There is something in us, some mystery that draws us toward putting faith in something that is larger than our individual consciousnesses. When we explore this mystery and break the tension by participating in its practices, and do so apart from God’s design, we will by necessity, lose interest, and become disenchanted with that particular religion, if not with religion in general. This leaves us bitter and burnt. This does not mean that we will cease to participate in whatever religion we chose. Most unbelieving hearts are more bitter and spiteful of the one true God than of their play-religions, so even though they know deep down the unfulfilling nature of their practices, they prefer it to truth, and so therefore continue in it. But they will do so, disenfranchised and with a hardness of heart.
However, in the context of fidelity and life-long commitment to God’s design, when the mystery and tension is released in the participation in God-given rites (Baptism, Table fellowship), then God uses the decrease of “not knowing” and the excitement of “finding out” to strengthen the bond that unites the participants, namely Christ and the Church. In the context of Faithfulness, and here we mean specifically the faithfulness of the Husband which enables the faithfulness of the wife, unity and devotion grow in direct proportion to the active participation in the marriage rites. It is as we, the children of God, and the spouse of Christ, come and actively participate in the worship of our Lord, the singing of praise, the sitting at His Table, the going out into the ends of the earth, making disciples, that we are nourished and fed, and made able to continue in what we were made to do. Not only does our Watchmaker restore our parts, cleansing us and making us tick again, but He sustains us and continues to uphold us as we live as we were created to live, and do what we were created to do, honoring God for who He is, and giving Him thanks.
This essay's main beef with modern culture is the complete misunderstanding of, and utter disregard for the nature and necessity of mystery between a man and a woman, specifically as it pertains to romantic, intimate relationships, and premarital relationships to be even more specific. Since the fall, man and woman have hid themselves from each other, recognizing, among other things, the shame that is associated with publicly exposing oneself. Hence the tradition of wearing clothes, beginning in the garden, has continued to the present day. This "tradition" of ours is the main contributor to the mystery that fills the spaces between a man and a woman. Co-contributors would be the difference in our hormonal/chemical make-up (fancy words referring simply to the way God made us), and the differences in our thought processes. This mystery that is plain to see, but difficult to understand, is the basis for every single romantic thought, action, development, desire, etc. Without our natural differences, bodily, mentally, spiritually, there would be no "not knowing" and no excitement over "finding out." This mystery is something that our God Himself created, and knowingly bestowed upon us. It is part of how we are made. Therefore we can infer that it is something good, and in essence a gift. It thus demands our attention and our respect.
The modern approach to this mystery stems from the very scientific outlook that gave rise to the descriptor, "modern." This approach says that if there is something going on that we do not understand, or cannot quantify in any objective way, than there is nothing going on. Nothing happens beyond what is explainable by chemistry and biology. Therefore, this mystery, which is necessary for the proper function of relationships, is completely explained away. This opens the door to sexual promiscuity (or sexual experimentation, fulfillment, activity – whatever candy-coated word we want to use instead). If this mystery, that is so obviously experienced, is not regarded as something special, then sex is nothing special either. Sexual tension is the basis of this mystery, and therefore part of the good gift. But when it is treated simply as a biological function, everything except the biological functions is missed.
The modern relationship despises this mystery, this sexual tension, and does away with it by the third date (if we are being generous). Men want the sensations of sex; women want the comfort of being needed and loved. But in this context, they are simply setting themselves up for pain and misery, no matter how far down they hide it. The mystery has a purpose, and here we begin to see the Hand of God. Mystery has the power to attract two people together; it also has the power to bond two people together. Before sexual union, mystery, the sense of unknown, creates a tension which prohibits a man and a woman from keeping their eyes off of one another. Until the tension is broken, the couple cannot be separated. They are constantly together, holding hands, going out on dates, etc. This is all good and holy, given the respect for God’s purposes, and His ways. And properly understood, this mystery drives a couple to marriage, a consecrated, public declaration of life-long commitment and fidelity. In the context of marriage, as the sexual tension is released, and the mystery, as originally perceived, begins to fade to comfort, God uses those differences to unite and bind, in a very unique and special way. In this context, mystery grows into something different, where, as the “not knowing” decreases, the hunger increases. In fact, it is the healthy participation in the rites of marriage that solidifies the bond, and strengthens the union that the couple has committed themselves to. This is only possible, however, in the context of life-long commitment and fidelity, consecrated in the sight of God.
Apart from marriage, when the “not knowing” decreases, the hunger also decreases, and the two lose interest in one another. This is the state of modern relationships. Here is where the disregard of the nature of this mystery has had devastating affects. Men need sexual release, and, not understanding the fruit of self-control, find it in women who are seeking protection, and a sense of being needed. The relationship will only last as long as the participants continue to keep up the appearance of interesting and novel. Thus women are forced to reinvent themselves, or at the very minimum keep up with the hottest, most provocative styles needed to “catch a boy” and keep him interested solely in her. Otherwise, feelings of despair and loneliness would rush in all too quickly. But as soon as she loses her mystery, and the tension that kept him looking at her dissipates, her chances of losing her catch increase rapidly, leading her to despair and loneliness anyway. It is a vicious cycle, destroying lives, and hardening the softest, and tenderest of hearts.
Here is the wisdom of God. Mystery is only healthy when it is tempered by the restraints of God’s law. When it is sinfully explored, it leads to pain and misery. These hard emotions cannot be explained away by science. Lab coats have no regard for the whole man, for the soul and heart of man. But God, who personally sustains us, has structured us in such a way that if we disobey Him, we will be doing things that are detrimental to our make-up. He knows how we tick, for He made us tick in the first place. It is similar to a watchmaker, building a watch, and then, giving it life, tells it to “Go and tick. Be a watch, and keep the hours, as you were made to do.” But the watch, despising the watchmaker, decides to swim in honey, deciding for itself, that honey would be much more pleasant than seconds, and minutes and hours, and days. But it finds that as it frolics in the honey jar, its parts start to freeze up, and the watch no longer works as it should. Had it listened to the wisdom of the one who made it, the watch would have lived a fulfilled and meaningful existence. But as it stands, the watch will simply cease to function, and have any ultimate meaning, or fulfilling experience. It must first be cleansed by the watchmaker, and re-wound, before meaning and purpose can be realized.
Paul tells us that marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. So how does this idea of mystery play itself out in the meta-narrative? All men are created without excuse for they are witness to creation, and therefore are witness to the works of the Creator. All men are also created with a sense that there is a God, and He has spoken. This is suppressed in the hearts and minds of unbelievers, but is there nonetheless. This is obvious by a universal need for organized religion. Even anti-religious folks and atheistic pagans are religiously devoted to their beliefs. It is unavoidable. There is something in us, some mystery that draws us toward putting faith in something that is larger than our individual consciousnesses. When we explore this mystery and break the tension by participating in its practices, and do so apart from God’s design, we will by necessity, lose interest, and become disenchanted with that particular religion, if not with religion in general. This leaves us bitter and burnt. This does not mean that we will cease to participate in whatever religion we chose. Most unbelieving hearts are more bitter and spiteful of the one true God than of their play-religions, so even though they know deep down the unfulfilling nature of their practices, they prefer it to truth, and so therefore continue in it. But they will do so, disenfranchised and with a hardness of heart.
However, in the context of fidelity and life-long commitment to God’s design, when the mystery and tension is released in the participation in God-given rites (Baptism, Table fellowship), then God uses the decrease of “not knowing” and the excitement of “finding out” to strengthen the bond that unites the participants, namely Christ and the Church. In the context of Faithfulness, and here we mean specifically the faithfulness of the Husband which enables the faithfulness of the wife, unity and devotion grow in direct proportion to the active participation in the marriage rites. It is as we, the children of God, and the spouse of Christ, come and actively participate in the worship of our Lord, the singing of praise, the sitting at His Table, the going out into the ends of the earth, making disciples, that we are nourished and fed, and made able to continue in what we were made to do. Not only does our Watchmaker restore our parts, cleansing us and making us tick again, but He sustains us and continues to uphold us as we live as we were created to live, and do what we were created to do, honoring God for who He is, and giving Him thanks.
